THE WRONG SILK PAJAMAS

Once upon a time while I was living in Lala land my beautiful blonde friend Patty and my beautiful mocha colored friend Shalena decided we should all go out in Hollywood for a friendly quiet evening of....ghetto club dancing. We went to Garden of Eden. It looks like "Da Club" that gangsta rappers so lovingly refer to as a dance parlor. Soon after entering asses were swaying and bouncing and pumping to DMX(it was the early oo's). As I danced with my beauties, a young ghetto black gentleman came over and asked me..."Are these your women?" I wasn't sure what he was asking...could he seriously be coming over to ask me in caveman if these honays were my property. I replied that I was with them...but did not own them because slavery was abolished years ago. Shalena replied that they were their own woman. Being in the environment, I thought out loud...all the women, independent, throw your hands up at me. No one responded. The ghettoman told us that his boss was asking. Who was his boss? He pointed over to a man wearing silk pajamas...but it wasn't Hef....Hef would've been ok. I would've gladly handed over my women to Hef. But no....it was Steven Seagal. Who? You younger ones might ask? It doesn't matter, I respond. It is a middle aged fat white man with a shiny ponytail that wears silk pajamas at da club and somehow was cast in heroic box office action flicks of the 80's and early 90's. Sir, please go home and put some pants on, get a haircut, and then come over and ask me yourself if these are my women...so that I can tell you that they'd rather go home with an 80 year old man who is classy and has a mansion for HIS women to live in. Mmkay.

PALIN IN COMPARISON