So, I was at Starbucks today inhaling a donut and Frappuccino when I couldn't help but be disgusted with the couple next to me. Sure, I had glazed cake bits scattered down my hoodie, but these people were beyond embarrassing.
First of all, they were Asian and the girl had a Hello Kitty button on her bag....C'mon Miss, really? Why don't you have your feet bound and corrective eyelid surgery while your at it, Miss Cliche.
Secondly, She was on her way to getting dumped like a unsatisfactory fortune cookie quote.
Why you may wonder?
A. She was speaking in baby talk...publicly. No man wants to fuck a baby...and if they did they'd go online or on that pedophile dating show, Nightline.
B. She annoyingly kept leaning over the table trying to kiss him....repeatedly!!! He did not want to kiss her...CLEARLY...but she didn't get it....here is a clue, my little concubine....if when you try to kiss your boyfriend, he pulls away...he doesn't want to kiss you....if you ask him why in baby voice and he looks away and laughs....he is actually laughing at you...and if when you try to kiss him again he puts the side of his face on the Starbucks table that has a dried ring of coffee where a pumpkin spice latte once stood....he will never ever EVER put a ring on it.
The moral of the story is....girl+cat(even if its a cartoon one) = no boyfriend.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
HE WILL NEVER EVER EVER PUT A RING ON IT
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2 comments:
Firstly, a hoodie? And you are claiming that the Hello Kitty girl was drowning in cliche, when all the while you are trends bitch. To be respectful I won't even start on the donut and crappaccino - you know better, but 'forget'. Now to the guts - while you give us a great observation of this horrible scene, did you ever think of jumping in (think dr phil) and sorting them out? To me you could have got the girl to say goodbye-kitty, empowered her to speak like a member of society, gained some self respect and walked out of there a woman. As for the guy, who knows? You may have found him wanting to share his ring with you.
Firstly, a hoodie? And you are claiming that the Hello Kitty girl was drowning in cliche, when all the while you are trends bitch. To be respectful I won't even start on the donut and crappaccino - you know better, but this isn't about the empty calories and unbelievable markup.
Now to the guts - while you give us a great observation of this horrible scene, did you ever think of jumping in (think dr phil) and sorting them out? To me, you could have got the girl to say goodbye-kitty, empowered her to speak like a member of society, gained some self respect and walked out of there a woman. As for the guy, who knows? You may have found him wanting to share his ring with you.
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