Sunday, March 9, 2008


When I was a child, before I actually knew what it was...I wanted to be raped.
This sounds beyond disturbing but let me explain...I aways wanted to go on excursions to Eckerds (drug store) as a kid in Florida. It was a block away from my house and even though people in Florida didn't walk...I was a born NYer and needed to go there to do important things like read Tiger Beat magazine and shoplift Slimjims or a Halloween pirate's patch. Aurora, my always too cautious abuelita (little grandmother) would never let me or my sister-cousin, Mayte, go anywhere. She watched us like a hawk. She would sometimes let us go to the mailbox only if she watched and once the mail was in our hands she would scream for us to hurry into the house as if we were in the movie "Twister" and about to die.
I always did what I was told, but on one defiant day I stomped my foot and raised my fists in the air to my grandmother. I yelled that I was going anyway! She couldn't stop me!
She slowly approached me, grabbed my arm, and very quietly said in Spanish, "Fine, go, I don't care, do what you want...but just so you know...little boys get raped too!"

What??? What were these things abuelita was saying?

Somehow, my child-mind took the gravitas with which she spoke as a good she was telling me a I was now old enough to know an ancient rite of passage.
Little boys get raped too!
Obviously it was something that little girls used to get only, but now...boys too. I felt like a new member to a prestigious club. Whatever this rape was...I had to have it....I looked for it everywhere at Eckerds, but could not find it. I wanted to ask the clerk, "where do you keep the rape?" but thought if it was a secret I shouldn't let everyone know about it or there would be none left for me. I thought about calling my school friends to see if they new about it, but I had no idea what the word was in English, since my grandmother had said it in Spanish.
I called Maria Elena, my mother, at work and asked her in Spanish.

"Maria Elena, what is the rape?"
"It is bad."
"But abuelita said little boys could get it. How?"
"Some strange men think that little boys are sexy and drive up and take you away."
"Awesome! Away, where?"
"Alejandro! I'm at work!"

How could this be bad, I thought. If I'm sexy, a strange man will come and take me away. Where could "away" be? Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, I thought....or better...Neverland Valley Ranch. I knew what I had to do. From growing up with unmonitered cable watching I knew two things. Grown ups thought that dancing in your underwear was sexy....and that smoking was sexy.

So, I, 10 yr old Alex Altomonte, decided to play in my front yard wearing nothing but my underoos, dress shoes (in case it was someplace nice), my backpack (for sleepover), and my little-hispanic-boy gold bracelet which featured my name, Alejandro, engraved in cursive. Every time a car would pass, I'd take out a candy cigarette and dance. My abuelita would yell at me from the window, but I would just shush her. Finally, a car pulled up and I approached it blowing on my candygrette. I remember the excitement rushing up my spine as I walked up to the car. I thought, oh please, please, please offer me candy or ask me if I want to come over and see your new puppy...but...the man just wanted directions. He was lost. I gave him directions but what I should have said was that thanks to him now I'd be lost my entire adulthood!
I got really bored after a few hours and just went inside to watch Nikelodeon instead...but it has stuck with me...much like that little kid who is ALWAYS picked last in gym class....I was that little kid who NEVER got raped.


Anonymous said...

We're glad you never got raped! :0) Even by c&n

Niihatsai said...

I got raped as a boy, and I tell you, IT'S NOT FUN!!! IT'S DISGUSTING AND GROSS.

Anonymous said...

i was raped at ten years old by my make babysitter as a young boy theres some sick bastards out there sure not not one of them?

Anonymous said...

haha LOL .. your innocence is kinda funny but being raped is not actually funny at all.. I got raped 5years ago(i guess) im 17 now .. i didnt get traumatized by the incident..but the bad thing corrupted my sexuality..i turned into a freakin homo.

Anonymous said...

i never have been raped :)
but i wouldnt want to be raped anyway and i feel sorry for anyone that has been raped

Anonymous said...

lol very funny great writing lol